hijacked brain.

something that would never, ever, happen to me,
and also something that I longed for a long, long time.

I'm always mommy's little brat (at least until now)

1. Hit:

ketika yang dimodusin sadar bahwa dia dimodusin

2. Miss:

ketika yang dimodusin ga sadar bahwa dia dimodusin

3. Correct:

ketika target nggak ngerasa dimodusin sama sekali dan ternyata benar bahwa sebetulnya ia nggak dimodusin (kasian).

4. False alarm:

ketika target merasa dimodusin padahal tidak sama sekali. istilah kerennya, geer.

--

modifikasi dari signal detection theory dalam psikologi. entah siapa yang mulai, yang pasti pembicaraan kayak gini sering beredar di angkatan www

I write, therefore I am.

I.
There are times when I just suddenly felt sleepy, so sleepy that I couldn't even move my eyelids. I lied on my bed like a branch, couldn’t move even an inch of my body, like there was an extra strong adhesive between my body and the sheets. I felt so tired, I would sleep like a dead.

In those times I wanted to sleep and never wake up again. In those times I just wanted to plung into a long, long dream. A dream which I could be smiling happily in it. A peaceful dream where I wouldn’t shed my tears again.

"Wake up, you lazybum."

But I realized these warmth of your hand wouldn’t be there, in the dream of eternity.

II.
One day, you sent me a bouquet of yellow roses. I frowned while remembering what day is today. Not my birthday, nor yours. Also not a Valentine nor White day. I stared at you, then at the flowers. You remembered that I didn’t particularly liked yellow.

Ah, something snapped on me.

Flowers could spoke.

"You’re jealous?"

You nodded.

I giggled cynically. “Of who?”

"Your thoughts of death and suicide," you answered. "Because of them, you always forget that I’m here for you."

I fell silent.

III.

"I am jealous of death."

"Why?"

"It could easily took someone’s important person away."

"… I’m sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? This is not your fault."

"But you know, death also the thing that will reunite us."

"… you’re right."

"Yeah."

"Will you wait for me?"

"Of course."

"Even if it takes years?"

"Of course. I love you not for nothing."

"Love you too."

--repost dari tumblr.

"gue ganti uname jadi perangko aja kali ya, soalnya apa-apa surat, apa-apa surat tapi kan cintanya gak akan sampai tanpa perangko. butuh perspektif lebih dari galau kalau mau move-on, seseorang harus berani jadi perangko."

hng jadi kan ya jodoh itu ceritanya udah ditentuin bahkan sebelum kita lahir kan ya. kenyataannya masih ada orang-orang yang sampai meninggal nggak nikah-nikah, ada juga pasangan-pasangan yang pernikahannya sampai ke akhir hayat tapi mereka nggak bahagia sama pasangan masing-masing, macam arranged marriage yang seolah 'memaksakan pernikahan' pokoknya bahagia ga bahagia yang penting gak cerai.

jodoh itu kayak apa?

apakah orang yang bisa membuat kita bahagia dalam satu komitmen sehidup semati, atau sekadar orang yang bisa menjaga komitmen itu meski tanpa rasa cinta?

apakah semua orang punya jodoh?

terus kalau punya, orang-orang yang nggak nikah sampai akhir hayat itu emang ga punya jodoh atau simply 'menelantarkan' jodohnya dan hidup sendiri? terus orang-orang yang sebelum nikah udah meninggal gimana?

... katanya sih jodoh pasti bertemu--

--tapi nantinya bersama gak? =)

(astaga sasha ngapain kamu malah nulis ginian sana nugas woi)

kalau dikerjain.